Until it happens to you

I found out April 7th of 2012 that I was pregnant. I was 21 years old. My boyfriend (now fiancé) was immediately all smiles as soon as that clearblue digital said "pregnant." I was immediately hugged and kissed and all I could see was his smile..and of course that one word. I was shocked, I was trying very hard not to get pregnant. But even more than my shock was immediate happiness. I felt like this was supposed to happen, it immediately felt like it was planned and I guess it was, in gods hands. I was due December 7th, 2012. Beginning of my pregnancy, sick until 27 weeks. Everyday, all day. Lost 20 pounds. It was safe to say, pregnancy wasn't suiting me very well. Fast track a couple weeks, I walked into my 31 week appt. and I already knew something was wrong. I could feel it. My blood pressure was super high and I was put on strict bed rest and taken out of work. I had weekly NSTs, blood pressure monitoring and ultrasounds along with my normal appts. I was also put on blood pressure medication. I went into my 34 week appt., thinking I would go through all my stuff and go home like always. I was told my blood pressure was way too high and I had to stay for a 24 hour observation. I told my boyfriend to go to work as planned, his job isn't very good with missing days, and that I would be home tomorrow. In the middle of the night I had INTENSE pain out of nowhere. It was excruciating. I called the nurse in and immediately someone was there to take blood work. The blood work showed that my liver and kidneys were overworking because of preeclampsia and I was told I had to deliver the baby or it wouldn't be a good outcome for her or myself. I was transferred by ambulance to a bigger hospital with a NICU. I was hooked up to different medicines such as magnesium to stop seizures that can happen with that high of blood pressure. My induction was started at 9am the next morning and 12.17pm the day after I gave birth to a tiny 4 lb 5.8 ounce 17.75 inch 6 week early little girl. I didn't get to hold her, or even see her face. She was given straight to the nicu team. I didn't see her until 7 that night and didn't hold her til the next day. We spent 13 days in the nicu and she came home at a tiny 3 lbs 15 ounces after losing some weight her first week of life. Its not the way you see your little one life starting, it was traumatic but it could have been a lot worse. It was most definitely the hardest and scariest time of my life. Thankfully for me though, she's doing great. She's now a 13ish pound, (ill find out at her six month appointment) little five month old. Small for her age yes, but great for where she started from. When you have a preemie they have their actual age and their adjusted age. Their adjusted age is how old they should be, which is basically the age their mental development will be at. So she's about 5 and half months but she's actually like a 3 and a half, 4 month old right now. She's developing pretty accurately to her adjusted age. Having a preemie is something you never expect to happen, and you can never truly understand it until it happens to you.